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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Here it is, the last of August. I have always felt empty at the last of this month. It's kind of the official end of summer, with Labor Day about to happen. I know it doesn't get cold for a couple of months here, but the calendar is reminding me that it will happen, that the leaves will turn colors and fall off. I don't mind cold, or windy, rainy days, and I actually like gray days, when the wind blows through the leafless trees. But, I love hot weather. I like to sweat from just walking outside. I love to see water beading on the outside of a glass of ice water. I always miss it when it's gone, and talk about it all winter, waiting on the summer to come back. My birthday is in August. I like knowing that I always get a year older in the high part of the summer, when things are really cooking on the sidewalks. I think that is part of the reason I hate to see it go. Especially this year, since I have done all I could to kill myself off medically. I guess I'm afraid that I will never see the hot weather again. I'm not dead yet, though, and I'm certainly not old yet. But that will happen one day, and I am sure going to miss it.
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