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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Alright, kids, it's time to write about changes. Changes happen all around us, inside us, because of us, to us, in spite of us. I think all of that applies to me at this point. Now I'm sure that all of that applies to everyone at any given time in their life, which does not make me special. I don't claim to be special. I don't feel special. Wait, that's not true. Change happens to us and in spite of us, and since that particular force of the universe is exerting itself upon me, then naturally I do feel special, like I'm the only one ever affected by change. But I know that I'm not, and I am doing my best to come to an agrement with change. Everyone and everything resists change when it happens. Look at it down to the theoretical level--in physics, they teach that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Every time water runs over a rock, with the intent of eroding it into a grain of sand, the rock resists, and stays part of the mountain. It's only natural to resist change. However, eventually the water wins. Eventually, the rain will wash all of the mountain down to the sea. Just because there is an equal and opposite reaction, the actions do not stop happening. Change is eternal. What I have to do is to embrace change. I have to use it to make life better for me and those I care about. My intent is to layout the things that are changing around me and get in tune with those changes. My intent is to grab onto the changes and follow their direction to a new end. That's a pretty lofty start for a problem with employment that needs to be worked out, but it helps me get a grasp of the scope of the issue. The issue is now longer if change will occur, but what and when change will occur. The issue is how will I deal with it, how prepared will I be, and how will it affect things around me. Most importantly, though, is the issue of what my role will be in this change. The issue is how much control over my own destiny will I exert. The issue is what I do next. I have to make a series of decisions. All of this boils down to a series of this-or-that, yes-or-no, if-and-then decisions. Let's start with stay or go. I could stay, and that really make sense. I have been at this company for 13 years. In another seven, I can "retire" from there with full benefits for life, as it stands now. Of course, there are thousands of people who thought that same thing about the company they worked for (Lucent comes to mind) only to find out way too late that it was not going to happen. However, I cannot labor under that assumption. I can make a plan in case something like that happens, but otherwise I have to count on that event not to occur. I will not be able to count on anything like that by switching companies at this age. Switching companies also may leave me open to a gap in insurance coverage, which a diabetic/heart disease patient cannot do without for long. I can go. Staying with this company will definitely be contingent on obtaining another position. I will have to do a different job. I say this because the first constant in all this equation is I cannot continue to do the job I do now. If I go, I can find a new company with a new set of people, a new set of challenges, and more importantly, a new outlook on life as a corporate entity. Leaving this company will free me to look at those other factors as I choose where I want to work. Staying with this company means that a new position must be obtained, but there are only a few that I would consider. If I stay, I will not accept any form of a management position. But--that's where the bucks are. There is one alternative, though, and that is a sales specialist. I am qualified to be any sales specialist in any store, and will outperform any of them that I can think of. Sales specialists there can earn spiffs in a couple of different areas, appliances and cabinets. Cabinets involves learning Autocad. I already know enough to be an appliance specialist. Cabinet specialists don't haul out refrigerators and load them on the back of a truck. Appliance specialists make more. Right now, we don't need either one of them at my store, which makes some of this moot. The point is, if I stay, I have to go into one of those positions. And I have to be able to get the current regime to go along with me on this decision, which is another paragraph entirely. So far, we have these points in favor of staying: Time served, insurance, retirement funds (although funds earned so far are not a factor, the current company does have an above-average retirement package), potentially a position to go to. Cons: I hate it. I have had my job threatened three times in the last 30 days, twice by the store manager and once by the district manager. I guess I should explain that. I am not sure what brought on the change that affected them, but I think it was the promotion of a man from a RVP to SVP of the southeast. It seems that word got out that this man is very, very big on specialty sales, which is what my position deals with directly. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly like within a couple of days, the program we use to organize and track estimates and sales became not only foremost in thought, but it became the focus of the district manager to the point of obsession. He had been pretty strong on this before, but now became explosively strict on how this system was supposed to look at any time he chose to view your "screens." So, a little over a month ago, he checked on some estimates (which he can do remotely and never be in the store) and decided that not only were they not correctly being handled, but that I was the sole reason that people out in the store were not correctly entering comments into the system. Nothing was late, nothing was behind, except comments from salespersons. So the manager called me in the office, wrote me up, and put me on final notice and gave me 30 days to turn it around. Now he, the operations manager, and the district manager look at those screens three or four times a day, each, and constantly call me with threats over what someone has done. I went from managing a sales force by being on the floor with them to sitting in an office staring at a computer screen, waiting for the next thing to pop up, so that I can call the salesperson to remind them to do this or that, and to enter the comments. Except that, if one of the watchers sees it before I do, then I get a call telling me that I am screwing up and need to fix it, now. This has happened literally while I was at lunch and at home. It has even happened on my day off, when I was nowhere near the store. So last Friday, when I was about to go on vacation for a week, the manager called me before I left, and told me that although my 30 days was up, they weren't happy with the progress, so I have 30 more days. The district manager was there for the day, which means he had personally checked everything mentioned above, and evidently didn't find anything wrong. I would have heard about it. Believe me. Can you imagine the pressure of knowing that every move you make is being scouted by three people who have the potential to fire you at a moment's notice? I have been a wreck. I can't sleep, and I have become depressed. In fact, when I finish this I intend to call the insurance line to find out how to get in touch with a therapist. I got issues! I related all that as information, but here is the bottom line...they want me out. The manager told me this several months ago, and the district manager tried to move me to another store once, which fell through. I have checked with other sales managers in the area as I could, and found that although they are getting some of the same heat, none are getting it like I am. All of this makes me much more receptive to the idea of switching companies. Switching careers may be what I need to do. It may be what I am supposed to do, although I don't believe in predestination. I do think that sometimes we get pushed into some direction by the universe, and that things may come out better from there. If I hadn't wrecked my life so bad 13 years ago, I wouldn't be married to a sweetie now. For today, that's all. I have to make a list of what I just put out, and go through things with my wife. My decisions on things don't affect just me anymore, but I know she'll be supportive of whatever happens. The main thing is, things are going to change, I am going to be ready.
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