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Monday, January 23, 2006
Welcome to Day 3 of my vacation. Here's the tally so far: On Friday, which was actually my day off for last week and therefore not counted in the vacation tally, I decided to switch to a new medication. Our insurance carrier decided not to continue to pay for Norvasc, and the doctor picked Dynacirc as the substitute. I had both here for a while, but I wanted to wait to make the switch when there wasn't a lot going on, like now. Besides, I still had almost a full round of Norvasc, and I hated to waste it. So Friday morning, at my morning dosing time, I threw away the bottle of Norvasc with a few in it, and took the Dynacirc. I have switched medications before, so I knew that there may be a transition phase, where I feel funny, or fuzzy, or something. Sure enough, I began to get a headache in the middle of the day. I got very jittery inside, and could feel my heart beating. It wasn't racing, just beating strongly. I felt really uncomfortable, but knew I'd get over it, once the new stuff kicked in. I fixed supper that evening (some of the best fajitas I ever fixed, more later), sat around, and went to bed at a decent hour. That's when the withdrawal really, really kicked in. I could not begin to sleep. My heart was pounding, my head ached, my chest was tight, I was nauseated...just like when I quit heroin. Kidding. I didn't quit heroin. I was up several times. At 3am, I dug through the garbage can and retrieved the Norvasc. Sure enough, the symptoms began to ease off about 20-30 minutes later, and were gone by 4am, when I went to bed. So now I have a call in to the doctor's office, telling him I am a prescription junkie, and don't know what to do. And, I'm down to my last Norvasc. Later today I'll be lurking outside the cardiologist's office, looking to mug a heart patient for his prescription. That was first. On Saturday, Linda went to the grocery store. I stayed home, piddled around, and met her outside to help bring in the goodies. I had both arms loaded pretty well, and as I went up the steps, I sort of hesitated between steps, because I was about to bump Linda. (That last sentence is in no way intended to affix blame to said party.) Instead of grabbing the rail and beginning again, I went ahead and hauled myself up with my left leg, not pushing off with the other. That was when the lightning struck me. The pain was instantaneous, and nearly blinding. I have injured that part of my back several times in my life. I live a lot of days in fear that I will do it again. I had enough time to finish what I was doing and get some ibuprofen before the stiffness sat in. I can't breathe in sharply. I can't sit in one place long before I have to shift. I can only sit in certain positions. I can lay down in bed, but I can't sit back up. To get out of bed, I have to roll myself over, scoot to the edge, and drop my legs over the side until my feet hit the ground, and then stand up. When I do stand, I have to push up from the edge of the bed, and do it s-l-o-w-l-y or I'll be screaming, collapse, and have to start that over again. I have been gulping ibuprofen four at a time, every three or four hours. I have been on ice, been on heat, and used a massager that Linda borrowed from her boss that looks like a floor sander and weighs about 10 pounds. I can only sleep about 2-4 hours at a time, before I have to get up and stretch out, and take drugs. Sunday, we decided to do what we were going to do on Saturday, which was go eat and see a movie. We didn't make it, to the movie anyway. Nothing will keep me from Ippolito's. Really, I thought I could make it through a movie, but I was wrong. I was in a bad way before we ever got home. So, let's total it up. Drug addiction, needing intervention, immobilized for several days to come, left the house for a total of an hour and a half on a weekend, no, a vacation weekend, wow, we're having some fun now, huh kids. I didn't plan this vacation, it just appeared before me, so I took it. You have to understand at this point--I am not complaining. Well, about the pain, I am. But really, what I'm talking about here is the string of events. How much weird stuff can happen to someone? Who else gets shot with a raygun? People should want to hang around me, just to see what could happen next. It's like a group of stoned scriptwriters is sitting somewhere, thinking up more bizarre things to do to their character. I am actually afraid to ever win the lottery, because I figure that I'll immediately be run over by a tour-bus of nuns being driven by Helen Keller while being struck by lightning as a truckload of bowling balls breaks loose and careens wildly down the street towards me. And the thing is, Linda is my total opposite. Linda can walk through a curio shop and bump into every glass shelf in the place while she's looking at a kite mounted in one corner of the store, and every single piece on the rack will totter back and forth several times, and NEVER will a piece fall off. I've seen her do it.
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