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Monday, July 13, 2009
Man, I hate Monday. I have never, ever, ever bought into that cliche bullshit before in my life. Until lately. People I knew and worked with and got along with would walk up to me and say something about hating Monday and I would rail on them for being just another sheep, buying into a line and spouting it our with bravado to appear that they had an opinion on something. They hadn't had an original opinion of their own for years. Since they heard someone else say it, they thought it might make them fit in. They'd be accepted by the group. In reality, the group should have forced them out of the pack for being weak, like wolves cutting out a lame old bastard, leaving it sniffing around the edges of the pack for a missed piece of meat. At least, that's how I used to think. I'm much more mellow now. But actually, I have discovered that there is something to this whole Monday-as-demon thing. I think it has root in the fact that a lot of people have been off for two days and are now trying to get back into the rhythm of doing their jobs. They spent two days working around the house or taking the kids to an ungodly amount of soccer games or drinking or drinking at the kids' soccer games or, in some cases, going to church. Monday, the day, didn't have anything to do with it. Monday was an innocent bystander, a day that just got picked by society to be the one we use to start our jobs over again. If some major religion or two would have had Monday as a holy day, this whole package of shit would have been laid onto Tuesday, becoming most dreaded of days. Damn Tuesdays! So now I go through Monday knowing that I won't be able to get nearly as much done as another day of the week. I get more stupid questions on Monday than any other day. And I get some stupid questions. I get more people walking in expecting something to be in stock than any other day, and then looking shocked when I tell them that I will have to order it. And it'll take a couple of weeks. See, they have just spent the weekend at a soccer game, swigging a bottle of Jack Daniels with their neighbor, and deciding that it'd be a great idea to take out that two-foot window and replace it with a set of double doors. On their own. Using only the household tools they have available, which could be enough, but usually consist of a pair of pliers and duct tape. Why does this sound like a good idea? Because their neighbor did it, just last week! Just come to the store and see the four returned special-order doors his neighbor went through in his quest to replace a door. He had never done it before either, but it sounded like a good idea during margaritas after Little League.
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